We were smoking outside his balcony when he said “you know sometimes all we need is a little appreciation.” I nodded my head while inhaling what could possibly lead to my demise.

I smiled and said “Totally man. It’s kind of funny you mentioned that. You know the girl I went out with the other night? It’s not a date or anything, but when I got home she texted me and said ‘Thank you, I had a good time. I  hope you got home safe. ‘ It felt kinda good you know?”

My friend grabbed a stick and lit it up.  He said “See, that’s good man.  Sometimes that’s all you need. Just that sweet little thought could mean so much.”

I replied “Yeah it’s kinda weird. I got used to treating girls and hearing just ‘thanks’. I usually  never get a text nor call after you know? I have almost forgotten that feeling.”

He said “So how was it anyway? The dinner I mean.”

“It was great, man. We had a good time.” I smiled a little. “She said ’she’ll never forget this moment. Thank you, Julius.’”

“Ohhh…” My friend said with the O face.

“It’s nice when someone appreciates your efforts. So do you like her?” He promptly asked.

“Who knows.” I laughed and went back inside.

I’ve been busy with so many things that I have forgotten a small part of me, which is my blog! That’s what happened! I went through a series of events that usually involve alcohol and work. Crazy, I know, but to hell with it! Oh, pardon my lack of proper introduction. I am in distress. I am walking backwards.

Happy Easter everyone! I know it’s a little late but better late than never right? Anyway, I’ve finally found a time to relax and chill with my good friends. This time we decided to get out of the city so we went to Chris‘ house at Cobourg (often called The Boonies). It was nice. We had a good time, good laugh and good air to breathe! It was very refreshing to see the lake and hear the heavy flow of the water. It really cleared my head for a moment, except the awkward vibe we felt coming from Chris’ family. LoL!

There were days when I just want to scream my lungs out just so I could feel a little freedom from stress. That moment finally came yesterday when we went to see the lighthouse by the beach. My friends and I screamed our lungs out till I almost lost my voice.

And of course there’s got to be a taste of romance. =)

The rest of the night were burnt short with alcohol, korean bbq and karaoke. Too bad we didn’t get to drink much! Damn pork belly! Why do you have to be so tasty and filling??!

We left early Sunday morning and went to Mc Donalds for breakfast. Even with the lack of alcohol, I still look wasted. Oh dear…

Any votes for fashion glasses??

Just when I thought I’m almost at the top of the mountain, I make a false move: stepped on the wrong rock and now another downfall. Business is great, work is great, but family? Not so great. With our doomed economy, holding on to a job is probably the most important thing that matters to families right now. And right now, I feel like I need to take over the responsibility of making things work for my family. You can probably guess what I’m saying here by now. Well, you should because it’ll take me a day or two to write down details like nervous breakdown, operation, eye problems, relative problems, etc…so let’s not get into that.

Anyway, as the panganay (eldest) left in Toronto with no relatives or whatsoever for the past 5 years, I’ve learned to cope up with the things around me. I always tell myself that “yeah you have to do it or else it’s over. Everyone is looking at you so don’t fail!” Yes, I have to do it. Whatever it takes I must reach my goals. I must work hard. This is what got me started on my business in the first place. Without asking my parents a single dime, I worked my way to get to where I am now. This whole chunk of pressure on me pushed me to do better. But somehow it’s not enough. I feel like I could have done more. I’m facing a huge dilemma right now and I’m starting to realize all the time I wasted getting…well…wasted… could all have been put to something more productive. If only I had known. If only I had prepared myself for this then things would be a lot lighter today.

Whatever will happen tomorrow, the day after, the week after, will happen and there’s no doubt I must face these days with my head up high. I’m a fighter. Physically, emotionally and mentally. But no matter how much of a fighter I am, if  life goes behind my back, it’s over. The only thing that I must keep in mind is that I have to take the blow and stand on my own two feet. I must. Because that’s the only thing I can do.

Memories (Smiling Tears) by Tasha

A good song about living in fear, hell on earth, uncertainty, and a bunch of other depressing thoughts.